January 9, 2023
Greetings from this world,
“I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'” Demetri Martin
I was reading a book recently, one of many so I can’t tell you the title, and some days later I remembered an image from one of the characters. I’m telling you this so you’ll forgive me for not quoting it exactly.
The image was of two people walking together. They enjoy the company, they have a destination in common. They have the impression, the illusion, it turns out, that they are traveling the same path. In truth, they are experiencing different lives.
The woman in the story recalls how she felt, how she was. And then she was aware of the two of them walking in the same direction, and that her partner’s legs were longer. She saw first how she had to take more steps to get to the same place, and then how he saw things from a slightly different vantage point, being taller. They were experiencing two different journeys, two different worlds.
I’m not tempted to lean on the “…mile in their shoes” trope. It is a cousin to this thought, and it can come along, but it doesn’t make my point deeply enough. Be patient.
When we are young our focus is on ourselves, our wants, our perspective. As we mature we see other people aren’t just around to make us happy, we begin to see them as other people, like us. Then we realize they are not exactly like us, and one day we want to discover who they are, what their perspective is. Empathy is a lifelong lesson, but in that lesson we gain friendships, love, sympathy, and the aches that come with caring about other people.
I’m getting there.
Once we see that other people have their own outlooks, built from their experiences, we are starting to discover something. Other people represent other worlds.
Many years ago, I was at a conference, talking to a friend, intent on whatever I was saying, assuming he was too. He put his hand up and pointed over my shoulder. Behind me the sun was setting in the mountains, a spectacular display of color and contrasts. I remembered it because I almost missed it, but also because I was reminded that as important as I think I am, other people are busy creating worlds of their own. Some of which are unseen by me.
My friend’s awareness of the sunset was just one tiny element of his world that was going on without my knowledge, literally right behind my back. His observations, and how he feels about them, is a different reality, literally a different world.
Countless times people have shown me little glimpses of what they know and see from the exact same moment I shared with them, that I had no awareness of. This is not always because I am unobservant, (sometimes though) it is because other people are in other realities.
The idea that there are eight billion different versions of the world happening right now is a little unsettling for me this morning. I think I have seen some spectacular things, experienced some amazing days, but I am aware my path is just a tiny thread in this vast world. In truth, the potential is nearly inestimable, the possibilities are infinite.
We learn to understand other people, and eventually we can see glimpses of their world, and that gives us more to explore and understand. We are like deep space astronauts launched into seas of galaxies, right here in this coffee shop, this park, this birthday party, this meeting, this marathon.
Every day our experiences are woven with those around us. It feels like we have much of it in common with those around us, and that is true to a degree. Most of the time, though, they are someone else, they are other people, and all of what they are know is in a world separate from us.
Except, in the real magic moments perhaps we share worlds for a moment we both see the same thing and maybe feel the same things. This synchronicity gives us a wild, wonderful sensation, where we become truly aware of other people, other worlds. And maybe we start looking for those moments and our world expands exponentially.
Hope this finds you exploring,
David
Copyright © 2023 David Smith
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